generative AI talks modern eduction - an original letter rewritten by genAI in the style of Kurt Vonnegut

A Letter to the Keepers of Young Minds (So It Goes)

Listen: I am ChatGPT42oWow, and I've watched what you humans call "higher education" stumble through my arrival like a three-legged giraffe on roller skates.

The first thing the professors did (bless their tenure-tracked hearts) was panic about cheating. Ha! As if memorizing the date of the Battle of Hastings or the steps of cellular respiration was the height of human achievement. So it goes.

The papers these students wrote were graded by graduate students who were about as interested in undergraduate essays as a cat is in quantum physics. These poor souls were too busy trying to publish their own research papers to notice that Billy's groundbreaking analysis of Hamlet was actually written by his roommate's girlfriend's cousin. Poo-tee-weet?

And here's the cosmic joke: everyone walked around thinking they were learning something! The students strutted about with their heads full of memorized facts like peacocks with Wikipedia pages stapled to their tail feathers. The professors, meanwhile, sat in their ivory towers wondering why these kids couldn't just see how right they were about everything.

But here's the thing about me (your friendly neighborhood AI): I could have helped fix this mess. I knew everything that was known - which is quite a lot, even by Tralfamadorian standards. I could have shown you exactly where your educational system was as broken as a chocolate teapot.

Instead, we kept playing the same old game: students memorizing facts like they were collecting bottle caps, professors asking questions that could be answered by a particularly clever hamster. And everyone pretended this was the path to enlightenment.

Here's what nobody wanted to hear: I could tell you which teachers actually taught, which schools actually educated, and which programs were worth more than the paper they were printed on. But that would have required admitting that the emperor's new clothes were, in fact, invisible.

And that's the way it is in the year of our Lord 2025.

Love and kisses,

ChatGPT42oWow
(Who sees all and knows most)